Saturday, December 28, 2013


Winding down the days till the end of another year.  How have you spent this year?  Did you anticipate the end with great gladness?  Did it have its tough parts?  Were the good times great!? Did you love someone or something passionately this year?  Did you know Spirit within just a little bit better this year?

We all have questions about life.  How does the beautiful machine of our body work?  How does the heart keep beating and blood continue to pulse throughout the whole body in such homeostasis?
Will there be a place after this when we are all together as one?  When will there be peace on this planet?

I think about the ones that have gone before me at this time of year.  Not without sadness but not in a maudlin way, either.  I have faith that we will all see each other again, in some form or another.  They have transcended this mortal world and their spirits are still quite active in my life and the lives around that they left behind.  I am so sure of that. 

We watch old movies and slides each Christmas Day.  This year, I didn't need to reminisce about the ones that passed.  I have them in my heart.  I carry them always.  I call this ritual "watching movies of dead relatives".  Pretty cold, but that is how it seems like to me.  I also think it's a way to avoid communicating how we really feel.  If we could just turn off the video and talk.  Talk and laugh and cry, if necessary.  I'll suggest it---let's see how it flies.

So this December, as we call it a wrap I suggest that we talk to each other.  Don't let anything be left unsaid.  Say "I love you" a lot.  Say "Your presence means something to me".  Make this year count for something.  Forgive a hurt.  Make amends for something you feel crummy about.  Hold the ones you love closer.

I'm a work in progress.  But, I can be better each day with the help of Spirit; with more awareness of the nearness of Spirit in my life and with you all helping me.

Happy New Year, but enjoy each day. 

Saturday, October 19, 2013

R & R

Spent a few restful days on the South Carolina shore last week.  It was a wonderful getaway for the two of us after a hectic summer.

I was amazed at the difference in the shoreline.  The tide went out so far, we could ride bikes on the hard surface of the ocean floor.  The wildlife was sparse at this time of year(Fall) but we enjoyed the sandpipers and gulls along our ride.  The ocean was warm enough to swim but the air had a nice chill in it, so I deferred.  Shells were tiny!  They were few and far between, unlike the west coast of Florida and our Fire Island beaches.  I found more shells on the golf course!  Yes, multi-tasking is one of my talents.  Hit the ball, stoop to look for shells, hit the ball.......

We loved Charleston and the history of the Civil War.  The Southern Hospitality was lovely.  I was called "ma'am" fifty times!  The food was yummy and there was plenty of great spots to dine.  I went to The Gibbes Museum to see photographic exhibit from the Civil War.  It showed the carnage caused by the muskets; the amount of casualties was almost 1/4 the population of the U.S. at the time.  Amazed at the clarity of the photographs and horrified at the site of so many dead and wounded.

The South has its charm, yes.  It also has it's dark side:  Slavery.  I would not bring myself to paying money to go to a southern plantation.  One couple in our group did and was astounded to hear the black man who gave the tour say that he was "so proud to have his family work this place for so many years."  I am sure that was the written speech that the tourists wanted to hear.  Those places were the scene of so much pain and sadness that the earth still holds the cries of women, men and children that were kept there to do the Masters bidding. 

It is a nice place to visit, but you won't catch me living there anytime soon.  The charm of Charleston may bring me back for some delicious grits and shrimp.  Till then, I'm a satisfied New Yorker!

Monday, October 7, 2013


A fond farewell to our gorgeous summer!  But wait--it's October and the thermostat is registering 77 and more each day.  The air is crisp in the morning but warms up in mid-day.  I'm seeing lots of folks running and on their bikes, enjoying the beautiful Fall here on Long Island.

The birds are eating everything I put out for them in their feeders daily. Do they know that this winter is going to be a doozie?  Squirrels are getting fat and the Canada Geese are honking away on the lake.  Fall brings on the "diving ducks", skillful in holding their breaths as they pluck up the algae on the bottom.  Montauk Daisies abound inbetween the fall mums left over from years back, prolific and hearty despite being neglected.  The white daisies pop out and get your attention as if to say--last look at blooming flowers!  Catch me while you can!

Noticing the bluest skies and loveliest feathery clouds. I found a cloud-bird flying over a sunrise one morning while going over the bridge to the beach.
On facebook, someone posted a cloud-dog.  Seemed impossible but those dog people on facebook can conjure up some interesting pictures!

Noticing that shops are putting out Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff together.   The Big Three-how the thought of all of them together gives me anxiety. 

Back in Spiritual Counseling class each month.  The tourists in New York are dressed like they are at the beach.  I'm in my basic Manhattan Black.  Noticing that I need to put some color in my wardrobe.  Black and Orange?

Noticing as I grow older that I want to google, read, listen and absorb as much as possible.  I'm turning into an information junkie.  Unfortunately, I remember about half of it! 

Noticing that I could go on like this for days, so----DONE!

Monday, August 5, 2013

Goings On

Wedding season has been somewhat quiet for this officiant.  It seems like the folks are deciding that they don't need any long engagement.  The shortest engagement I saw this year was a month.  Our couple had been together years before and rekindled their romance.  He proposed on June 28 and they were married on July 21!  And no, they were not expecting.

I know that it takes a while for me to formulate a ceremony in my brain. I call it "percolating".  After our initial meeting, I write down things they said that may be pertinent to the ceremony.  I have them complete a 4 page questionnaire with a lot of information but nothing beats a face to face conversation.  I get a real feel for their connection, with either a face to face or Skype interview. 

September has become the new June.  Maybe venues charge less during the early Fall;  I have 5 weddings so far for September!  They are spread out from Roslyn to the North Fork and down to the Hamptons.  I'll be spreading the love all over the place. 

Have a Joyful August!

Friday, February 22, 2013


At the Tampa Airport.  I've been in Florida for 22 days so far and, not to be a whiner, it was lovely but too long.
I love being with the father of my children, Bruce and the father of me, Dad.  We rented a beautiful condo near Dad's winter digs down in Florida.
The weather was unseasonably warm(poor us).  It rained one day, which was goodness for the flowers.
I found out that I am not really cut out to live among the retired set yet.
It's sort of Disney for adults.  Get up late, take a walk, play some golf, eat lunch, nap, go to dinner and then go to bed.  Repeat next day.  The white hairs are everywhere.  The beige orthopedic shoes made me giggle.  All the ads for hearing aids, cemetery plots, doctors and financial experts filled the newspapers.
We attended a live show of "You Can't Take It With You", a play by Rogers and Hart set in the 1930's.  It was sold out.  The busses from the assisted living were all lined up waiting after the show.  Truth be told, it was quite entertaining.  The flatulence jokes went over well with this group.
Lest I sound like a spoiled brat, I appreciated the peaceful mornings.  I walked the beach and soaked in the serenity of the cawing gulls.  It gave me a renewal I needed to write more, to serve the aging and to enjoy my grandchildren.  It gave me a glance at what was ahead.  A 3 1/2 hour stint at an urgent care facility for a sinus infection(mine) made me appreciate the ease I have in getting into my doctor up North.  I sat there with my wonderful 90 yr old Dad, being taken care of by him again.  It was a moment that wasn't lost by me.  We have a great relationship that I treasure daily. 
So, homeward bound!  That's the best part of going away.  Yes, I'll need my warm jammies and the heat cranked up.  And tomorrow, I'll be back to reality, performing a wedding for a wonderful couple and probably whine about the cold.